Tragedy or Comedy?

Anna Nicole Smith dies of a drug overdose?? Now who would have ever seen that coming? Well, probably everyone that watched the 2005 Video Awards show, but besides those people...no one. Right? But in order to understand the death of an icon, we must first examine her life. Well, at least some key highlights (according to me).

Before she became the beast she was in her later life, she was quite a piece of ass! Seriously. For Gods sake, she was in Playboy! Right about the time she was doing Playboy spreads, she also started suckin' off old dudes. And I don't mean a little older! I'm talkin' a full on, prune juice drinkin', diaper wearin', denture havin' 80 year old man. But he was rich, so I guess that's OK.

After suckin' the life out of the billionaire, (literally), she had to endure a lengthy court battle with the guys son, to see who gets the "chedda". Long story sort, he wins, and she gets nothing but a mouth that tastes like 80 year old sperm and Preperation-H. You know she went there! She then decided to gain about 600 lbs and have a super sweet reality show. What a trainwreck that was. How many times can this sea donkey eat, or shop in one show? This is about the time when she started peddling Trim Spa. She did lose quite a bit of weight, but I'm not sure if it was the dieting, or the cocaine. I guess in Hollywood, cocaine is part of a healthy diet. Mmm mmm good! With her death, I guess we know how healthy her lifestyle really was.

So to recap, she went from beautiful Playboy model, to old man's cum dumpster, to broke fat bitch, to dead. Quite a run! All I have to say is...THANK YOU.

Thank you for fullfilling your destiny. The prophecy of Anna Nicole...To become a dead, gold digging drug addict, who choked down 90 year old cock, in hopes of getting paid. Kudos. We salute you Anna Nicole Smith!! I'd give you two thumbs up, but instead I'll give you 1 cock up, because I'm looking at your Playboy spread, and God damn you were hot!! Whore!