Pss It's Me

What's up all?! I guess I should announce myself as "A Horse Named Trigger". So, my first blog is a review of the PS3. Let me begin with the story of buying the PS3.

I was sitting on a Saturday morning watching my new 56" HDTV (and yes, Broc, if you put both of my cars, two months of rent, and a month of gas, my TV would still cost more). Anyway, as I was watching TV, I thought to myself that I was missing something. I had the surround sound, the 360, and the cable box, but there was an empty spot. Then it came to me "I need a PS3". As I looked at my sweet Sarcastic Serpent at the computer, I knew she was not going to agree with my thinking that this was a matter of life or death. I knew this was going to take more than the regular ass kissing. The "You sure look pretty today" was out of the question. Then it came to me....."Baby, you want to go pay your engagement ring off and get that diamond wedding band you wanted?" Needless to say, five minutes later we were on our way to the mall. After getting everything she wanted, she was very happy. So I thought here's my chance. I pointed out the store in front of us. For the simple reason that I am still pissed off at this store, I'm not going to give them free advertising by mentioning their name. We'll just call this place the BEST place to BUY stuff. Anyway, after a little bit of persuasion, we headed in and started to the electronics department.

This brings me to my first top five (which I hope to bring more to you later, and encourage others to do the same). This first top five is the "Top five people that should not work in the electronics department"
5.) Anyone that responds to your questions about PS3 stuff by telling you that they don't carry feminine hygiene products.
4.) Tree hugging hippie pot smokers. NO, I don't want to buy a recyclable TV or make a donation to the green earth foundation
3.) Retards. I don't want to ask someone that can't spell their own name, or someone who is slower than me about expensive high tech equipment.
2.) People that don't speaka da English. I don't want to ask about GTA San Andreas and have them point to a map to tell me the best place to jump the border in Texas.
1.) And........the number one group of people that should not work in the electronics department is WOMEN. Yes, you are cute, and that you want to be one of the fellas, and I got nothing but love for you all, but I'll let you in on a little secret- Your NOT, so stay the fuck out the electronic department, and especially don't work in one!

Now that that rant is out of the way............

So we get to the electronics department, and there, my #1, yes, a WOMAN working............We walk up to this cute little pigtail woman, talking and giggling on her headset. We ask her if they have any PS3's in, and she says "hold on" she'll check, as she runs off giggling. Mind you, we are standing in front of a locked cage with three PS3's in it. Twenty minutes later, she returns and giggles "It was right in front of us the whole time". NO SHIT SHERLOCK. So, I go on against my better judgment, and ask her a few questions about the PS3. She begins to read the box and answer my questions. Because you must be wearing a blue shirt with a yellow tag in order to read from a box you see. I asked her the difference between the 20 gig and the 60 gig. She looks at me, smiles, and says "the price". Thanks, Bitch, that helps. I can see the smoke coming out of her ears, so I ask my final question. Now this is important, does it have HD wires, or do I have to buy them separately. She answers me very positively "Yes, it comes with the HD wires", as if I was stupid. So, thinking I had just saved some money by the cable being included, we bought another controller, two games, a special fan to keep it cool, and a small midget to hold it (was going to ask Tony if he was up to it, but that bitch wanted too much money). In all, we spent about a billion dollars. Finally, we leave the store (I'm skipping and smiling like a schoolgirl) with the PS3.

We get home, I put on my house clothes and slippers. I roll a fatty, and grab an ice cold beer ready for my intimate moment alone to open my PS3. As I open the box, a heavenly beam of light shot out, and a small chorus is heard in the background. I bow and pay my respects, and unpack. I look through the box, then on the box, and back in it again, and then exclaim "What the FUCK?!" Can you guess what was missing? You got it, no HD wires, turns out, there are NONE that come with the PS3. Once again, thanks bitch for all the fucking help! Now I gotta get dressed and go back out again. Well, that's my story. Thanks for letting me rant and rave. This is your Friendly Jack Ass saying Ta Ta for now...

P.S. Oh yeah, this was supposed to be a PS3 review, wasn't it? It's REALLY, REALLY cool!