That Kanye Workout Plan

So as of late (the past month) I've been working out alot. You know, trying ta get swole for the ladies in all. I don't really got a strategy since I never took P.E. weight training, but I've never really been a sloutch, and I pretty much got it covered. I tell you this cuz I think it's a good idea for all you flabby bastards out there to try some physical exercise for a change. Lift weights, ride a bike, join a gym (and go!), walk your fat ass around the block. It's really all about your motivation to better your health and the way you look (to the ladies of course).

I don't care how much you do or how often you do it. Just do something for crying out loud. Also eating healthy is good idea as well. Now I'm not gonna preach carrot sticks and light mayonnaise to anyone. I personally never eat anything that's green if possible. Plus I happen to be blessed with a high metabolism (and rugged man-pretty looks). Ok so all I'm saying is, if not for yourself and your health. . . . Do it for all the sexy ladies out there who you could be dry hump'n on Tuesdays. Now who's coming with me?!

Oh Ladies! don't think I forgot about youz.....

I'm just say'n, just cuz you bought that Tae-Bo VHS tape don't mean Billy Blanks is coming to your house to get your fat ass off the couch. Same rules apply for those without penis's. Get on that expensive ass treadmill that's taking up the whole back room and "west side walk it out" like them young folks be say'n.

Tho I do have an alternative for some of you ladies.......Two words......Stripper Pole.

That's right young'n, go out and get yourself a stripper pole. I'm sure if you already have a man he will get you one in a heartbeat if you ask. Hell he's been waiting for this day his whole life!

Now like with most things in life you have your different options in Poles. Your Built in version, your semi-portable with stage version, and your very portable "see you at my house" version. All very good and all very true to the life style. Also if you wanna make if official for me your dude, you gotta come with the outfit. I'm talk'n shoes and. . . . . what else do stripper have on again? (I kid, I kid) But I digress. Get the shoes and lacey outfit, throw on some stripper parafanilia. Or don't... actually we really don't care. Once you got the pole we are already living the dream. None the less, you will not be sorry and neither will the lucky fella you put it on and take it off for. I don't go to the titty bars myself that much, but if I don't come out smell'n like hooker spit and cigarette butts then someone was not on their A game. Don't let that be you ladies...





Wow! What a turn of events this post has taken.. Mer ha ha ha ha (evil laugh)

Lisa Lisa & the Party Bus

For those of you not in the know, it was little Lisa's 21st Birthday This past week. So to kick it off proper like, she got herself a Party Bus and went to the club. I being your faithful report had to go to ah. . make sure shit when down official!

So we all met at Biv and Karina's house in the V-a-l-l-e-j-o for a little pre pre drinking to get us warmed up for the bus (which would get us warmed up for the club). So the bus itself was charging $45 $50 ducks a pop just ta get a seat so I hope you brought your wallet bitches! After everyone gathered up and the bus arrived, we proceeded to gitty-up to the "Glas Kat Supper Club". I'm pretty sure that's were we went. You see the problem was, the bus had the lights on inside. So once we got on, we didn't see shit outside till we landed. The Bus itself had free beer and some hard, so that was cool since the club drinks were crazy alot.

So now we're at the club, crazy deep. I mean everybody she knew came to this bitch (the Verizon fucking network was there). Seriously even her Mom and Dad came with. Which was cool cuz Momma Kath is down, and Sam is all kinds a Mexican fun. He even rolled with some of his crew. The club itself was pretty nice. As soon as you walk-in there was a bar and a smoking room (it even came with a girl giving away free KOOL's). Fucking Death Dealer!!!

Not to long after we arrived, the club started to get packed. Biv and Tone decided we needed a VIP booth. $200 dollars later we were knee deep in Grey Goose and had our own section at the club. Right on the dance floor I might add.

There's really not a lot more to tell about the club, mostly cuz I don't remember. Well let me sum it up for you:

Bus was expensive - Bus was fun
Club drinks were expensive - Already drunk anyway
Booth was expensive, Booth was clutch
Club was packed - Not enough talent for a show, but enough to go around
Bo almost fought - Dre almost fell on his ass!
Ride home was a blur - Pizza and soda, Kath called the dinosaurs

Welp that pretty much wraps up the night. I'm pretty sure everyone has their own little stories, but tell them on your own website!! New pics in the photo gallery, please take what you want for your Myspace.

(This is why I'm Hott!!)

Tahoe Trip 2007

I know, I know...I've been laggin' on doing the Tahoe post! I was waiting until I got some pictures to post along with it, but I guess I'll just tell the scoop, and post pics later.

Started off Friday night with a little buffet action in Harrah's. Now I'm not big on buffets (contrary to what mister Turner might say) but this one was mighty good! It had everything. Sushi, spaghetti, prime rib...whatever, you get the picture..there was alot of fucking food! So after I violated everything my doctor told me not to eat, we proceeded to drink everything in Tahoe. I stuck to the Crown on the rocks, but there was plenty of beer, Patron and other spirits floating around. Played a little poker, craps and blackjack, but ultimately ended up in the club. This my friends, could not have been a bigger mistake. While we were 15 deep, so gonna have good times regardless, the platypus options were not there! So we all proceeded to get extra hammered, while Biv and Brandon got their poker on! When I say got their poker on, I of course mean losing big $$. We ended the night at about 3am and headed to the cabin for a bit of sleep....or so we thought. Sleep is overrated anyway. Why sleep when you can get up at 6:30 in the morning and start drinking. Fuck it!!!

Headed to the casino at about 1 pm Saturday, and I proceeded to dominate the poker world of Tahoe, by winning a no-limit tourney. That's right Brandon, I fucking won. Check the tournament records baby!! Who's the big winner....Tony's the big fuckin winner!!! Later in the evening we all headed to club VEX, and proceeded to blow about $1500 on VIP status and drinks. I of course felt like shit, so headed home early, but I understand that fun was to be had. Between the Patron shots and the strippers, and my boy Pick passing out in the B of A parking lot 2 miles from the cabin, I think they had a good fucking time!! They all rolled in at about 4am, and passed the fuck out.

I know that this is has been a really quick and uneventful post, but I promise I'll get the pics out asap. Until I do that...what what...in the butt! Llama, out!

DINGS! - The Crappiest Bar on 4 wheels

So ah... Pauls getting married again.

That's right kids Paul aka "Trigg" is getting hitched one-mo-gin. But wait. . . That's not even why I gathered you all here today. So Paul calls the crew and tells us to meet him at his favorite hole in the Devil's tighty whiteys, "DING'S". The bar where everbody know your "Brocs" name. This is where he is going to give her the ring, her being Suzanne "(his lovely wifey to be). So instead of taking her to some place romantic, (and you all know I'm not big on the romance, but come the fuck on..) he invites us all for drinks at Ding's .

Their are two things you should know about me and "Ding's":
1. I hate Ding's. No disrespect to Mrs. Ding, but that place is a dive.
2. Ok make that one thing you need to know.

His philosophy on why of all places Ding's was they met at Ding's. So I ask ( we all ask), is the anniversary gonna be and Ding's? Is the reception gonna be at Ding's? Did you conceive you first kid at Ding's? If your kid was a boy you were gonna name him Broc (God knows why), but if it was a girl was her name gonna be Ding?

Ok I'm done. here are a few pics of the night. Keep in mind I left early (see rule number 1.)


Here's the crew in the smoking section of Ding's (yay!)



Paulito giving his "you all know me. . I love this girl " speech



Everything said, I hope they stay together for a long time.

It's fucking Ding's Paul.....
You should hook Ding's to your mobile home and take it everywhere you go.


On to the important stuff.

Has anyone seen the new Fanstastic 4 preview? Now the first movie sucked ass (save Jessica Alba of course), but this one looks like it has potential. Why you ask. I will tell you. . . "Silver mutha fucking Surfer". That is really all I have to say about the preview. Click the pic for the trailer. I'm giving you the option of how you wanna watch it. ( Real G's choose HD)


Dick in a Box