Pss It's Me

What's up all?! I guess I should announce myself as "A Horse Named Trigger". So, my first blog is a review of the PS3. Let me begin with the story of buying the PS3.

I was sitting on a Saturday morning watching my new 56" HDTV (and yes, Broc, if you put both of my cars, two months of rent, and a month of gas, my TV would still cost more). Anyway, as I was watching TV, I thought to myself that I was missing something. I had the surround sound, the 360, and the cable box, but there was an empty spot. Then it came to me "I need a PS3". As I looked at my sweet Sarcastic Serpent at the computer, I knew she was not going to agree with my thinking that this was a matter of life or death. I knew this was going to take more than the regular ass kissing. The "You sure look pretty today" was out of the question. Then it came to me....."Baby, you want to go pay your engagement ring off and get that diamond wedding band you wanted?" Needless to say, five minutes later we were on our way to the mall. After getting everything she wanted, she was very happy. So I thought here's my chance. I pointed out the store in front of us. For the simple reason that I am still pissed off at this store, I'm not going to give them free advertising by mentioning their name. We'll just call this place the BEST place to BUY stuff. Anyway, after a little bit of persuasion, we headed in and started to the electronics department.

This brings me to my first top five (which I hope to bring more to you later, and encourage others to do the same). This first top five is the "Top five people that should not work in the electronics department"
5.) Anyone that responds to your questions about PS3 stuff by telling you that they don't carry feminine hygiene products.
4.) Tree hugging hippie pot smokers. NO, I don't want to buy a recyclable TV or make a donation to the green earth foundation
3.) Retards. I don't want to ask someone that can't spell their own name, or someone who is slower than me about expensive high tech equipment.
2.) People that don't speaka da English. I don't want to ask about GTA San Andreas and have them point to a map to tell me the best place to jump the border in Texas.
1.) And........the number one group of people that should not work in the electronics department is WOMEN. Yes, you are cute, and that you want to be one of the fellas, and I got nothing but love for you all, but I'll let you in on a little secret- Your NOT, so stay the fuck out the electronic department, and especially don't work in one!

Now that that rant is out of the way............

So we get to the electronics department, and there, my #1, yes, a WOMAN working............We walk up to this cute little pigtail woman, talking and giggling on her headset. We ask her if they have any PS3's in, and she says "hold on" she'll check, as she runs off giggling. Mind you, we are standing in front of a locked cage with three PS3's in it. Twenty minutes later, she returns and giggles "It was right in front of us the whole time". NO SHIT SHERLOCK. So, I go on against my better judgment, and ask her a few questions about the PS3. She begins to read the box and answer my questions. Because you must be wearing a blue shirt with a yellow tag in order to read from a box you see. I asked her the difference between the 20 gig and the 60 gig. She looks at me, smiles, and says "the price". Thanks, Bitch, that helps. I can see the smoke coming out of her ears, so I ask my final question. Now this is important, does it have HD wires, or do I have to buy them separately. She answers me very positively "Yes, it comes with the HD wires", as if I was stupid. So, thinking I had just saved some money by the cable being included, we bought another controller, two games, a special fan to keep it cool, and a small midget to hold it (was going to ask Tony if he was up to it, but that bitch wanted too much money). In all, we spent about a billion dollars. Finally, we leave the store (I'm skipping and smiling like a schoolgirl) with the PS3.

We get home, I put on my house clothes and slippers. I roll a fatty, and grab an ice cold beer ready for my intimate moment alone to open my PS3. As I open the box, a heavenly beam of light shot out, and a small chorus is heard in the background. I bow and pay my respects, and unpack. I look through the box, then on the box, and back in it again, and then exclaim "What the FUCK?!" Can you guess what was missing? You got it, no HD wires, turns out, there are NONE that come with the PS3. Once again, thanks bitch for all the fucking help! Now I gotta get dressed and go back out again. Well, that's my story. Thanks for letting me rant and rave. This is your Friendly Jack Ass saying Ta Ta for now...

P.S. Oh yeah, this was supposed to be a PS3 review, wasn't it? It's REALLY, REALLY cool!

Bout Damn Time!

Hello Everbody! It's been a minute since we last posted on the site. You'd think with 6 people somebody would have something to say. Whatever. So I scowered the interweb thru the endless blogs and porn, to find some tib-bits to keep you chill-ren coming back for more. (says "Thank you Ninja")

Lets start things off with a little Joe Rogan. You know who he is right? The host of T.V.'s Fear Factor. The in no-way out of place "Color Commentator" of the Untimate Fighting Championship. The roving stand up comedian? Well good O'l Joe after finishing his set @ the Comedy Store, decided to call out fellow comedian and sit-com mexican Carlos Mencia. It seems some people think Carlos has been building his success off of stolen jokes. I'll let Joe tell you the rest of the story. Watch the video and then read what Joe has to say about the matter. Video - Joe's Side of things

Next we have a little something for the fellas. You ever wonder why that hot ass breezy never wanted to give you the time of the day (let alone sleep with you)? I'll tell you why, YOUR SHITS WEAK SON!!! Wizeak! Welp I'm here ta help you out. Well not me personally, but here's the top 7 "most effective pheromes" from PheromoneReviewSite.com. The picture on the left is a brand called "Pherlure Cologne". Their shits supposed to just have ladies on tilt, ready to kill a brother ta get some penis. YADA DI MEEN! (Ah if you get that two pack, brake me off son!)

Now for the ladies. Did your man try and give you his "Dick in a Box" for Valentines's day? Now for some reason did that box look empty when you opened it? Well that sucks, but hey at least he tried. Next time why don't you try a little harder and give him something special from the heart. Like your "Boobs in a Box". But please for the love of all things porn, do a better job then these two scally wags!! I honestly could not watch the whole video (Tell me how it turned out). If your not into Boobs (who's not into boobs?), you might wanna try (and I don't know how this works) giving the gift that keeps on giving. Your "Box in a Box"! Someone tell me why this chick is even getting 5 of her 15 minutes of fame.

Oh here's something that's fucking sweet like your mothers teet! A fucking Horse Head Pillow!!! Tell me that's not dope. Something else that's pretty cool for you people who went all ape shit for the Apple iPhone, LG and Prada just went major with a collabo phone called the KE850 Prada
Click here for the story from Engadget.com

Alrighty ladies I'm out for nah!
(The only thing we can agree on is that I'm good looking)

Holy Master Shake!!!!!!!

If you have ever seen Aqua Teen Hunger Force then you know what a "mooninite" is. If not, then stop reading this right now and go turn on your tv.

Well my ninjas (and pirates), the mooninites have put Boston in a state of emergency. The marketing firm that promotes ATHF placed blinking lights, not very different than a Lite-Brite, around Boston and nine other cities. The company states that these lights have been up for two or three weeks. Apparently some Bostonians that saw these thought they were bombs.

I don't know about you but I never thought of a Lite-Brite as a weapon of mass destruction. These "dangerous" lights made them close bridges and subways around Boston. These people must flip the fuck out during christmas.

The craziest part of this whole situation is that Boston Mayor Thomas Menino is going to seek to punish those responsible for this "terrible" crime. Which could lead to some people doing 2 to 5 years in prison. OVER BLINKING FUCKING LIGHTS!!!!!!

Hey, Mayor Menino (say that 10x fast, I'm joking don't do it idiot) why don't you leave the cartoonists alone and punish the people that need to be punished. Like those little kids with the blinking lights on their shoes. Better yet, arrest the parents of those kids for thinking its ok for the kids to wear them in movie theaters. I'm just saying, its starting to get annoying. Everytime I go to the movies to enjoy a cinematic adventure, I always end up sitting next to the kid that can't sit still if his life depended on it,(oh, and it does my friends, it does) kicking the chair in front of him. With every kick those fucking shoes start to flash in the corner of my eye. Next thing I know, I'm on the fucking ground have a seizure.

So, to all of you ass clowns that are thinking to yourself "we're gonna win this war on terror", think about this. People are so terrified that everyone is out to get them and terrorists are going to strike any second, an entire city was brought to a standstill by this...................

MONKEY........OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's Branch This Bitch Out Son!

We finally decided to get the ball rolling and get our name out there. If you noticed, we have all those links on the side of the blog pages, make sure you bookmark us or subscribe to our RSS feed. You can put us on your Yahoo or Google home page, or post us as a "social bookmark" (It's like your favorites menu in Internet Explorer, but everyone in the world has access).

We are trying to decide on a place to get our shirts made. A place like Cafe Press (but not Cafe Press, cuz their quality sucks). The choices so far are Spread Shirt and Print Mojo. When we find the right place we will let you choose what shirts and crap we make. Hell we'll even let you make you own designs (if they are cool).

Here is one of the possible Shirt Designs

Also We have a new blog poster on the Site, "Lazy Llama". Otherwise known as SavageToneCapone. So look for his posts (no doubt as useless as my own).

We are also gonna try and make the posts shorter. Unless of course they call for a long forum. Basically we are just gonna throw a video clip on that we found on YouTube, or maybe write a quick thing on whatever the topic of the day is (like the new Apple iPhone). This will allow us to post more frequently. Whatever the case, it's gonna be interesting so keep an eye out.

Hey don't forget to grab a StealthyGoat link and place it on your Myspace (I know you have one, everbody does). If you need help, just goto my page and follow the instructions.

Baby Jesus is coming!!!

Holla Compadres!

Christmas is just around the corner. I hope everyone is almost done with their shopping. . . me not so much. I Just went out today and spent $400 and got nothing. Well for anyone else that is. I went over to the Best Buy looking for the simple gifts (DVD's), and picked up the new "Justice League Unlimited season 1" dvd. While I was there, I also picked up the new "Robin Thicke" CD.
Last but not least I when over to Sears to see my buddy Tina and wish her a happy birthday, wich I should have done 3 days ago. So while in there I picked up a new digital camera (See Below) with the help of Tina's discount (thanks Tina).

So check out my X-mas gift to myself. A brand new Sony Cyber-shot DSC-N2 10.1 megapixel digtal camera. That's what's up son!

Since nobody will give me their stupid pictures, I will have to take my one. The gloves are off bitches. My pics, my website, your shame....

Speaking of my website, here is a pic of the lab were it all goes down.



Here is the break down, not that you care anyway:
1) 19in Acer wide screen
2) 15in Viewsonic lcd
3) Sony TRV 3CCD Mini DV Camera & Tapes
4) Kensington Optical Pilot Mouse (for gaming son, word!) plus crusty Washington D.C. mouse pad
5) Verizon VX6700 Windows mobile 5.0 PDA phone
6) Newly acquired Robin Thicke CD (Yes he is Allan Thickes son)
7) Linksys wireless 2.4 Ghz router
8) Full Throttle Blue Demon energy drink
9) AMD 64 X2 +4200 gaming box
10) Stacks of CD and DVD burnables

So there you have it for today kids. Remember, if you wanna blog on my site, just let me know. I get tired of typing anyway.

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everybody has a extra fat Thanksgiving meal today. I'm not a fan of the turkeys, it's a little to dry for me. I mostly stick to the ham, mashed potatoes, candied yams, macaroni & cheese... see now I'm getting hungry.

For the folks who traveled to other states(Oregon), pick me up a PS3 cousin. I'll hit you when you get back. Did you see how much jack asses were paying for those things on ebay. Fuck that!!
I wish I could find this link, but I saw this one sale on ebay that if you bought it you deserved it. The guy was selling "Playstation, 3 of them" for $900. Some jack ass who can't read thinks he is getting a PS3 when he is getting 3 PSOnes. I love it when a plan comes together.

Anywho, I have not been working on the website much, cuz I've been busy at work and playin BF2142. By the way I want to welcome Brandon to the ranks. he finally stepped up his video card pimp'n.

On a side note. I sure would like some of those (better late then never) Halloween pictures. I saw the bulbs flash so I know they are out there..

Welp, See ya later!

Selling my Computer

Hello ladies!

So I'm probably selling one of my computers. Why you ask? because I bought a badder kick asser one, that's why. Any who, this is what I got for sell:

AMD 64 3000+ "2Ghz cpu" - ATI Radeon X800 XL 256MB AGP Video Card - 2.5GB DDR RAM (2 Gig sticks & one 512mb stick) - CD/DVD Burner - Built in audio, network card, etc.. and so forth. I have not decided on the size of the hard drive, but it will come with Windows XP Pro and Office. I also have a 15in LCD monitor that may go with it.

If you interested email me at HeyGoat@StealthyGoat.com. You can probably goto the store and pick up a computer for a little more then I am selling this one for, but you will not get 2.5 Gigs of RAM or my kick ass Video card. That would cost you and extra $400 at least.

"How much are you selling it for" you ask... I'm not sure yet but probably around $450 or $500. We will see. I may also piece it out if you just need a taste for your own personal PC. And if you think my computer is not fast.. Your a jack ass!!!

Dog Tags Bitch!

If your a gamer (like myself) then you should already know about BF 2142. This game is the fucking tits. When's the last time you crep'd up on some poor bastard then shanked him in the neck and took his only means of identification?(Then in celebration you scream DOG TAGS BITCH!) That my friends is how the game is played. it's similar to BF2, but different enough that there is a quick learning curve before you stop getting pwned@spawn.com and start Wesley Snipe'n pimple faced 9th graders.

If you have a PC and all you do is surf Myspace and leave Tila Tequlia comments, then you might wanna up your RAM game and cop a Video card. For those of you who don't understand a word I'm say'n, ON TO THE NEXT POST WITH YA. Shit, I know niggaz who bought $1500 computer just to play BF2. I myself just cop'd a 19" wide-screen and another Gig of Ram to keep the high-res blood flow'n.

Now for those of you video game hate'n folks (and of course I'm talking to the women). We don't let this shit totally consume us, but hell sometimes you just gotta do an all day dance with a few of your buddies. Drink'n beer and shoot'n niggaz in they face! We can't go shop'n for shoes everyday, We saw your parents last week, Sorry Hun Block Buster just rented their last copy of Ever After.

I Digress, The point I was trying to make with this post is, check out this game. If your not a gamer by trade, and you know someone with this game...You will be hooked from the moment you pull your pig stick.

=GO JOE=