Christmas Frickin Eve Bitches!

Hello ladies! It's been a while. Yes the website has been dead for a while now. I have been super busy and have not had the time to do anything on it (I'm in high demand you know). Anyway, I just stopped in to wish whoever happen to stumble onto this site a Merry Christmas.

I'm here stuck at frickin work. Yay Me! I got here at 6:00am because i had to call someone in South Africa and they are like a million hour ahead. Oh guess what. . . . they did not answer.

I know people have been trying to get a hold of me to do things for them (i.e. Fix computers, make websites, cure cancer), but I really don't have much time these days. My company just got bought by Mcafee so they got me working like a run away slave to impress the suits.

Sorry for the randomness of this post, but I'm just killing time as I fake work on the fine Christmas eve.

We had a little get together on Saturday. yeah people got shit faced. It was supposed to be just a small thing, but we have so many friends (not bragging) that it turned into a kinda big thing. Anyway, we did a little elephant gift exchange thingy that turned out pretty fun. Good finger foods and plenty of drinks. There are pictures out there, but I didn't take any.

Ok I am bored now

No such thing as "Drama Free"

Well then. Where should I begin?

Hmmmm. . . . So as you know there was a little fiesta thing pop'n off @ the Ranch last night. Not as many people showed up as we thought, but there was still a lot. More importantly, there was hella alcohol in this BeeZee. I mean HELLA! I counted at least 3 or 4 big ass jugs of vodka, a keg of Bud Lite, 4 12's of Corona, and various other hard liquor and beers. Oh yeah and the 5 gallon jungle juice cooler had a jug or two of Bacardi and vodka in it.

Ok so back to the party. I have to tell you, most of the people who came I have never even seen before in my life. A lot of the people where Tony's co-workers and their friends they brought. Which is cool, that's what it's about. As long as we are all here to have a good time, and for the most part that's what we were doing.

Now if you came to the party or you heard about what went down, then I know what you're waiting for me the write about. Well I'm not gonna . . . exactly. All I am gonna say is that some shit pop'd off that should not have. Had my old white neighbor lady coming outside. Rookie cops surveiling my house (big up to my boy Shane for being young, skinny, drunk, & white when the cops are @ the door).

You'll be proud to know that I didn't cut anybody, so that's cool. Most of the incident was a misunderstanding and or could have been handled differently. Other parts did require some sort of knife play, but que sera. Yeah so moral of the story is: There is no such thing as a drama free party.

Anywho I'm tired of writing. Here's a couple pics from the night.

Get your Drunk face Ready

Hello everybody!

I Just wanted to give a friendly reminder that it's party time this Saturday. Oh and just incase, let me drop the info for those who don't know:

Date & Time
Saturday Sept. 1st @ 9:00pm

[There was a map here, but you don't need them shits anymore....YEE!]


That's pretty much it Bitches.

Oh remember 3 very important things.

1. Bring some drinks, cuz you can never have enough!!!

2. Eat before you come, cuz we ain't feedin you drunk bitches!!!

3. I'll cut you if you fuck up my night!!!

See you there :)

End of the Summer Party!!!

That's the business bitches! It's time for another big party @ the Goat Ranch. Act like you know cousin! September 1st is the jump off. What's the party for? . . Who gives sparkly shit, just be there.

Rumor has it, we will have plenty O' beer, music, and a big enough house for the masses. We'll have some hard and mixers, but we do advise you bring your own hard liquor. Cuz that shit goes fast like a nascar, ya unda-dig what I'm talkin bout.

Now If you don't know where the Goat Ranch is located, you bes ask-ed somebodies. Call us, txt us, email us, send a MySpace, throw up the "Bat Signal", do what ya like just be there.

September 1st, that's a Saturday. It's the first Saturday of the month. Make a calender event if you have to. Shit!

Ok now for an important message: First off I would like to say NO DRAMA! Seriously bitches! I will fucking cut you. Don't come unless you coming to party. If you come to fight, I will cut you! If you break something that I have to pay for, you will pay for it, and then I will cut you! If your fat ass runs thru my screen door, I will fucking cut you! Are we pretty much clear? Good!

Moving on, Beautiful ladies! Yeah I'm talkin to you. You are more than welcome to attend in droves! We run an equal opportunity party facility. So if you have an ugly friend, she can come (conditionally) but there will be no grenade jump'n over here playa! If she try'n ta gets lucky, she bes holla to that drunk nigga in the corner and stop look'n at me. Other than that, she will have to sit her ass in the car, or make a sandwich and park them shits on the couch, whiles you handle your business. Speaking of extracurricular activities, if there are any girls that plan on having sex or some sort of sex like act with any resident of the Goat Ranch on that night, please RSVP so we can pencil you in for a block of time. We do not want any overlap if people's feelings are gonna get hurt. . .again.

So to recap:

Sept. 1st - Goat Ranch - Beer, Music, Party - No Drama - Ugly Friends No Love - RSVP - No Worries Mate!

Sprache Yadada!

MUMM's the word!

It's official folks! Mrs. Suzanne Guzman has taken our very own (Tall) Paul Guzman for better or worse. It was a big day @ the Goat Ranch. Probably the biggest event we have seen so far. The event turned out to be pretty good. At times it seemed like there was no real battle plan, but when it started to roll, things went smoothly. As predicted, the actual wedding part was short and sweet. the real fun ensued when it was time to take the pictures.

There had to be more camera's here then at a Godzilla convention in the middle of Tokyo town. Nobody really knew where to look, but in the end it really didn't matter. From what I could tell the pictures came out cool. Next it was time to get out of the church clothes and get into some various eatables. The wedding was catered by Joe's Buffet, a local shop in downtown Fairfield. They had a pretty tasty spread of roast beef, pasta, salad, and some bread.

Of course after we ate some, They had the champagne toast. Broc was the best man so he gave a little speech. Let me tell you, this guy could have vibrated thru the table he was shaking so bad. I've never seem anything like it. We had to tell him to sit down after his speech, or he was gonna pass out. It was good tho. He was only nervous cuz he cares.

After the money dance, the rest of the night was pretty much the usual. One thing I forgot to mention is the amount of champagne Paul's mom bought. I think everybody was double fisting bottles that night. I think she might have been getting mad that people stopped drinking out of wine glasses. Hey!.......You buy 12 cases of Mumm's, shit's going down. There were so many hammered people off Mumm's it was ridiculous.

The party didn't last too long tho. Most people went home before 12:00 and even the loud and drunk stayed only till around 2:00am.

Anywho! The pictures are up so check those out. Other then that.........

Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Paul Guzman

Your one stop shop!

Welp, I finally got some pictures up from Brocaveli's Birthday party at Pepper Belly's. So that's cool. Tom came thru with the shots, so thank him when you see him. I put like 64 of them up, even tho there was more. Whatever yo!

Brandon (you all know Brandon right?) Put a new forum up today. He's been buggin me to do one for like since I made this website. I guess he finally got tired of waitin and made his own. Check it out HERE or copy the link to your browser son. http://somethingtodo.17.forumer.com/

Oh So Paul is getting married (again) on Saturday (07/07/07 - whatever!). Expect some interesting pics from that up soon as well. Yeah this kid is getting hitched at the Goat Ranch, NO SHIT! There is a long and re-dic-u-lass story behind the whole thing, but it's all good in the end I guess. So who's comin anyway? It's gonna be like 104 on Saturday. I don't know, but I know it'll be hot as shit son. Oh my our backyard is not known for it's grassy knowls and shadey tree's. Bring your umbrella kids! All I know is that I'm suited up for like 50-60 minutes MAX! Then back to the civi's and possibly back to my room ($175 broker for a hot ass zoot suite).

The wedding starts at 6:30 prompt so be here on time. I really don't wanna wait around for you ass cousin!

Once again, "THE MAN", is tryin to bring the brotha's down!!!

Well, here we go with yet another twisted theory from me, "The Lazy One".

If anyone out there is a cigarette smoker, like myself, you might have heard that cigarettes are now being made with a paper that goes out if not hit in a timely fashion. This is to prevent people from burning all of their worldly possesions to ground, if they fall asleep with a tasty treat lit. Now being a Newport smoker, I took a look at my box of 20 cancer sticks, and noticed that it doesnt have the little black line, showing that they are made with the new paper. What the hell!! Some of my collegues and I have come to this conclusion: George Bush hates black people! Yep. Turns out Kanye was right. This is nothing more than a plot between the government and big tobacco, to rid the world of as many African Americans as possible. Hit em' where it hurts...tasty Newport pleasure. Damn them!!

On other topics....

The Super Bowl turned out to be just that...SUPER...until the 3rd quarter. After the pathetic halftime show by Prince, I mean, uh...is that still his name? I don't know. Anyway, after that Greek tragedy of a half time performance, the Bears decided to follow suit, and shit the bed as well. Terrible throws, terrible defense. Just frickin' terrible! Well at least I got nice and drunk! The only way to fly my friends!

One final note. I used to go to dump.com all the time, to get my funny video fix. Funny videos, fight videos, and just plain cool shit. They recently had a format change, and now it is strictly porn. Now, I don't have a problem with porn, but there are 40 billion other porn sites available, and taking away my video source just pisses me off. Where the fuck am I supposed to see the new Kimbo fight?? I guess I'll just drag my sorry ass over to you tube, or metcafe, but going to Dump was so much cooler. If I catch the punk-ass motherfucker that changed the format, I will beat him like Kimbo beats everyone. Ya heard!!

The Lazy One....OUT!!!

Weekend Update - Fights and Football

I'm not gonna recap the UFC fight on Saturday or the Super Bowl game on Sunday. I'll leave that to the sports guys. Well ok just a little. . . The fights sucked, and the game was tragic.

Now for the weekend.

A few of us went down to Trigg's shanty house to watch the fight, cuz he up and got himself a 56" HD DLP TV.

(crappy cable company up and broke the only PPV cannel with the fight on. Is that a baby?)
Paul came thru pretty "D" with the all the fixn's so that was cool. Chips, dips, ribs, potatoe salad, the usual goods at a fight and feast.

(Paul in the cooking nook making Crown and Coke)
And that was Saturday...Now for Sunday

First off we had to get up early to move the house around and get the projector setup. While doing that, we found out that the projector that we borrowed from Broccoli had HD hook-ups(Oh hell yes!!)

(I don't think you understand. . .)

(The whole wall is HD my friends, just ask Tony)

So the TV is dialed. As we watched a little "Ninja Warrior" and "Street Fury" Tony proceeded to cook up the goods. Polish dogs, bratwurst, meatballs for sandwiches, various beers, we are no joke when it comes to food time. Other people brought plenty of sides and more beer of course. All in all the day was good. We had the fooseball table getting heavely sessionsed as usual. Got a little betting squares action for the big game (that's 15 bucks down the shitter).

Here's a quick pic of the game. It's a little blurry, cuz the flash made the screen disappear. I'll put a few more pics up in the gallery later.

DA BEARS. . . lost!

Super Bowl Party!

It looks like we may have a Super Bowl XLI or XXL or XIV or X-Men 3 whatever, we are having a party bitch!! If all goes well, we can get the smooth projector working on the wall like at the UFC fight we had earlier. Different room this time, cuz we expect more folks to drop bye.

That's all I really gotta say for now. Gee, I wish the two other knuckle dicks I put on here would type something. . . . .

Yo quiero comer ahora. Hasta!!!

A New Year for a whole new set of sins!

Welp, The new year is here. Did any of you make a resolution? Not me. . I try not to make promises I can't keep.

So most of the people who are gonna read this were at the New Years party so I'll try to keep this as short as possible. The original plan was to have a party here at the Goat Ranch (the house Tony, Bake, and I live in). Well tragically a friend of ours was having a party for the new year as well, and Biv had already committed the crew to attend. So in short we tentatively cancelled the party at our house. So we packed up the crew with intentions of checking out this other party and then possibly coming back to our house if it wasn't pop'n.

Not to get into too much detail, but we came back to our house to ring in the New Year. Since we came to the other party like 5 or six cars deep, we already had the fix en’s to resurrect our cancelled party. Jimmy decided to invite everybody he knew, so uh. . that was cool. Not to mention a good percent of the women in the house were lesbianas. Let me tell you, there is not a single entity louder then a gaggle of squawking lesbian black girls.

All in all the party was pretty dece considering that it was cancelled. Everybody and their mother had a digital camera, so there are plenty of pictures floating around out there. The newly acquired foosball table got heavily sessioned last night. Other things that got sessioned: lots of alcohol, all major brands of cigarettes, Gay Myspace, Ozzie's relationship, and so on. Here's some pics. I'll put more in the gallery section later. My camera alone took over 90 pics.


A few starter beers in the back yard!


Happy New Year Shots


They are get'n down to the get down!

And now for a quick game of Guess the Breasts!

Let's go Pa, we got ourselves a Colored!

So that about wraps up 2006. The year was pretty good I guess. I hope everbody has big plans for this year. Well that's it for me. (Happy Birthday AJ. & before I forget, Gay Waldo called. He found you and he wants his shirt back.)

On the Eve of Christmas Eve

First off, let me start by saying happy holidays to all. Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, lets get down to business.

Last night we had a little Christmas eve eve dinner party type deal thingy of sorts at the Ol' Goat Ranch. Just a few people over with nothing better to do, eating dinner and exchanging gifts. Speaking of gifts, Biv got himself a very special present from his sisters.

That's right Bitch!!! A fucking "Onesy". Click the picture for better view. According to Biv he can now role right out of bed and straight to the computer for some Battlefield action. One fell swoop!

I can't stop laughing. But seriously, what lady doesn't want to snuggle up with a grown man in a onesy?

All in all it was a pretty good night. We had 3 PC's setup playing BF2142 in heavy rotation (and I'm not just sayng that cuz BP Yam Yots was on the sticks). A few of the boys were getting a taste of the action for the first time. Ah to have that noob feeling again. Like a new born baby sucking its mom's teet.
Later we sat down for some good eats. Keep in mind, the whole time we were steady drinking the beers, and various other alcholic provisions.


And that is when the game of "Drop" came into play. You see "Drop" is not a drinking game. That is what "Circle of Death" is for. No my friends "Drop" is drunk game.


Tony plugs up his bloody nose courtesy of "Drop"

Before I wrap it up, I forgot two things:

I added a new video I know you will enjoy.


and secondly, this little treasure

Shells & Trails

In case you didn't know, ADIDAS inked a deal with the NBA. I was browsing for some new kicks when I came by these. CLICK HERE! Dope huh! Yes Sir, Now you can sport your favorite ball club on a pimp pair of shells. Word!

Other note: Went to the trails on sunday with some of the ride'n crew


Jimmy and Brandon working on the trails


Look at Brandons hair


We also checked out the trails down the street - not bad


Then Brandon ate a "Double Double"

Last but not least, We are having a New Years party here at the Goat Ranch. Well maybe. It seems their is another party on the same day (imagine that!). Mr. Biv was supposed to tell us about it a few weeks ago, but neglected to (thanks bro). Anyway I will let you know for sure what the deal is. Here is the flyer anywho.

Click for the full monty

Pieces home-A